How I Used the 90-Second Rule to Practice Mindfulness

mindfulness practice, emotional control, stress management, 90-second rule, anxiety relief, emotional regulation, mindfulness techniques, stop overthinking, break emotional spirals, mental clarity

I used to believe that once an emotion hit, I was stuck with it for the rest of the day. If something made me anxious in the morning, that anxiety would follow me like a dark cloud, lingering in the background no matter how much I tried to distract myself. If I got frustrated over something small, it felt like I had no choice but to carry that frustration around, letting it impact everything from my focus at work to how I interacted with others. I felt trapped in my emotions, as if they had complete control over me.

That all changed when I learned about the 90-second rule.

At first, I was skeptical. Could I really shift my emotional reactions in just 90 seconds? The idea, popularized by neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, suggests that when something triggers an emotional reaction, there’s a 90-second window in which our body experiences the physiological response—the surge of adrenaline, the quickened heartbeat, the tense muscles. But after that? If we’re still feeling the emotion, it’s because we’re choosing to keep feeding it with our thoughts.

I decided to put this theory to the test, and let me tell you—learning how to stop emotions from hijacking my entire day has been life-changing.

Understanding the Science Behind the 90-Second Rule

Before diving into my personal experience, let’s break down the core idea. When something upsets us—whether it’s an argument, a stressful email, or even a memory—our brain initiates a chemical process. The actual physiological reaction, where we feel a rush of anger, fear, anxiety, or sadness, lasts about 90 seconds. During this time, hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood our system, preparing us to react.

But after those 90 seconds? The chemical response fades. If we’re still feeling overwhelmed, it’s because we’re replaying the situation in our heads, reinforcing the emotion over and over again. We’re no longer reacting to the initial event—we’re reacting to our thoughts about it.

This realization hit me hard. I was the one keeping my emotions alive far longer than necessary. The stress, the frustration, the worry—it wasn’t the situation causing them anymore, but my inability to let go.

My First Attempt at the 90-Second Rule

I remember the first time I consciously applied the 90-second rule. I had just received an email that sent my anxiety through the roof—one of those passive-aggressive messages that instantly makes you feel small and incompetent. My usual response would have been to overanalyze every word, spiral into self-doubt, and let it ruin my entire day.

But this time, I paused. I reminded myself: “You have 90 seconds. Let the emotion rise, feel it fully, and then let it go.”

I set a timer. I allowed myself to feel the physical reaction—the tightness in my chest, the racing thoughts, the heat in my face. Instead of pushing it away, I leaned into it, acknowledging it without judgment.

And then, after about a minute and a half, I took a deep breath. The intense reaction had started to fade. The emotion was no longer controlling me. It was the first time I realized that I had more power over my emotions than I ever thought possible.

How This Rule Helped Me Manage Anxiety and Stress

Before I started using the 90-second rule, my anxiety had a way of snowballing. A minor inconvenience could turn into a full-blown stress spiral, making it impossible to focus on anything else. But once I started implementing this technique, everything shifted.

Instead of resisting my emotions or getting caught up in overthinking, I learned to acknowledge them, feel them fully, and then move on. This small yet powerful shift made a huge difference in how I handled stress.

For example, I used to struggle with social anxiety. If I said something awkward in a conversation, I’d replay it in my mind for hours, convincing myself that everyone was judging me. But with the 90-second rule, I started recognizing that the physical discomfort—my racing heartbeat, my sweaty palms—was temporary. Once those initial sensations passed, I had a choice: I could either let the moment go or keep torturing myself with unnecessary self-criticism.

Choosing to let go wasn’t always easy, but the more I practiced, the better I got. I found that I was able to bounce back from stressful moments much faster. I no longer let small setbacks ruin my day. Instead, I acknowledged my emotions, let them run their course, and then moved forward.

The Key to Making This Work

The biggest challenge with the 90-second rule is resisting the urge to keep feeding the emotion. Our brains love to latch onto negative experiences, replaying them in an endless loop. Breaking that habit takes practice. Here’s what helped me make this a daily practice:

Awareness – The first step is recognizing when you’re stuck in an emotional loop. The moment I catch myself ruminating over something, I remind myself: “This is just my brain keeping the emotion alive.”
Set a Timer – In the beginning, I literally set a 90-second timer on my phone whenever I felt a strong emotion. It helped me stay present and focus on the physical sensations rather than getting lost in my thoughts.
Deep Breathing – Taking slow, intentional breaths helped me stay grounded during those 90 seconds. Instead of trying to suppress the emotion, I let it flow through me, knowing it would soon pass.
Redirect My Focus – After 90 seconds, I consciously shifted my focus. Whether it was going for a walk, listening to music, or engaging in a task, I found that actively doing something helped me break free from the emotional cycle.

Why This Method is a Game-Changer

Since adopting the 90-second rule, I feel so much more in control of my emotions. I don’t get stuck in negativity the way I used to. Instead of wasting hours (or even days) replaying stressful situations, I acknowledge my feelings, allow them to pass, and move forward.

Mindfulness isn’t about suppressing emotions or pretending everything is fine. It’s about being fully present, allowing yourself to feel without judgment, and recognizing that emotions are temporary. The 90-second rule gave me the ability to do just that.

If you’ve ever felt like your emotions have too much control over you, I highly recommend giving this technique a try. It’s a simple yet powerful way to practice mindfulness, break free from emotional spirals, and take back control of your mental state.

Love,

Rae

Image Credits - Альона Рижук